This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
