awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
