is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
