Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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