I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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