oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
