Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize