Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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