I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
