After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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