boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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