I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
