They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do vagina's smell?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize