I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
