It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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