Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
