grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
