before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There r osticjed everywhere
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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