He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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