People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
