So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
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