No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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