I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
