We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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