WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
