no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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