Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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