I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
