I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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