I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
organizing the empties. That sober.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
