Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
