I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
