I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
