I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
