I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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