you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
