your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Watching her eat just hurts me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
