i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I party with great urgency now.
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