i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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