but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Acid is not a monday night drug
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
