My first STD was from a foam party
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize