Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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