I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
