They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
