Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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