is your mom at the bar?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
