Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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