love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
