still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
