If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
