Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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