were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
