it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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