I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
