ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize