i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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