I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
