I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
