Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
