the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize