hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize