At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
