At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
