This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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