$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
